so explain again why im purple
no
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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