I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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