guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
