honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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