the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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