She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
not ubering you a puppy
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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