i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
