Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
