Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
