Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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