farters have to be the big spoon...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
