I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
