I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
