One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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