i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Define "chronic" masturbator.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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