Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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