Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
this is an emotional support booty call
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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