Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
