gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
