Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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