kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
