We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
