Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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