So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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