dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
