Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
