If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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