lets start a swedish sibling band together
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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