Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
