If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
