girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
