I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
