Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
