please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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