There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
