I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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