Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
