i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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