what if every blade of grass was a penis?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
