he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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