he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize