I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
