God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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