how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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