If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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