How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
