It's Friday. Sex?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
