This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
