Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
