There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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