Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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