I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
