My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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