Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
