i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
