dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
